Self Discovery

This is a special assignment that I asked my counselor for as I felt my work load was too light.

1. Look at yourself in the mirror. What type of person do you see?

As I look at myself in the mirror, I see a person uncertain of what the future holds in store for them. I see a person who worries about his family and how he will manage to pay his bills until he goes back to work. I see a person who is focused on his recovery. Mostly, as I look at myself in the mirror, I see some one who is scared of the uncertainties of life.

2. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?

If I could change one thing about myself I would change my smile. As I was looking in the mirror I realized I do not like my smile. I spent many years in my addiction only smiling when I reached a certain point of inebriation which gradually grew harder and harder to. achieve. Now when I smile it looks forced. I hope in time that these feelings will change and one day I will enjoy smiling.

3. What is your biggest fear in life? Why do you think that is?

Right now my biggest fear in life is relapsing. I fear that if I relapse I will disappoint my family, my friends, and myself. I am afraid of hearing, "I told you so", or "I knew you couldn't change". I still have cravings to drink but I also realize what I will lose by taking one drink. I will lose the support of my family, my friends, but mostly, I will lose myself.